Mar 21, 2016

Ideologies Explained through Meme Allocation

via Atlantic Centurion

Capitalism – You sell your memes at a profit and invest in better meme production and new memes. Over time, a yawning gap develops between those who have dank memes and those whose memes are from 2008.

Globalism – Meme production is outsourced to third world NEETs. The government is forced to spend money on counter-terrorism operations because of the threat of a domestic beta uprising, fueled by a dwindling labor force participation rate and the Trans-Pacific Partnership’s effect on the ability of Western NEETs to stream chinese cartoons.

Democracy – The people vote on which memes should be produced and how to regulate them. It devolves into violent squabbles over which chinese cartoon girl is the best girl.

Republicanism – You elect representatives to vote on all matters meme. They are soon bought off by meme producers looking for government subsidies.

Roman Republicanism – You invade North Africa to protect the meme heartland from another attack.

American Democracy – There is a very low participation rate in exercising the right to meme. Your memes become increasingly degenerate over time.

Parliamentary Democracy – Civilian ownership of memes is outlawed and the population becomes very cucked.

Socialism – The government nationalizes the meme industry and hires additional bureaucrats to create memes. They aren’t very funny and seem to cost more every year.

Communism – People who simply share memes are put in charge of the production of new ones. Memes become extremely uniform.

Soviet Communism – The government sets production schedules for outdated memes and dumps them in countries forced to buy them at gunpoint.

Chinese Communism – The government conducts industrial meme espionage against foreigners and cheaply mass-produces low-grade memes to sell to the gweilos.

Vietnamese Communism – Memes have to be hidden in the jungle to stop Americans from bombing them.

New Left – Only people of color have real memes.

Dildoism – Society is run by people who hate memes. They want you to die out.

Nationalism – Your memes are the best because they are from your own country. Other countries are not sending their best memes.

Civic Nationalism – Anyone who accepts your memes is considered part of your propositional society. Hell, even if they don’t accept your memes. They will eventually, right? Right?!

Ethno-Nationalism – Your memes all revolve around securing an existence for their filepaths and a future for newer variations.

Bathhouse Nationalism – Your memes are extremely standard, but at least they are White.

Fascism – Society has deteriorated to the point that you break the glass case containing the emergency memes necessary to restoring order. Many people are unhappy about this so they are taken out back and shot.

National Socialism – Your memes are sent to the showers and scrubbed entirely of Jewish influences. You set your eyes on the horizon and march off to expand the lebensraum of your memes.

Nordicism – After carefully measuring their resolutions and file sizes, you conclude that your memes are the master race.

Identitarianism – Your memes are invited to a conference by Richard Spencer. They get a discount for being fresh and rare.

Libertarianism – No one really bothered to build roads ever again because the market doesn’t rely on them for transporting memes.

Anarcho-Capitalism – A band of oligarchs control all the memes for their own benefit while everyone else is reduced to serfdom, producing memes for them for starvation wages.

Propertarianism – All relationships between parties are determined by their memes. Autonomous communities develop around shared meme interests that exclude outsiders.

Imperialism – Every so often a boatload of memes set sail from your ports to subjugate memes on other continents. Your meme empire eventually exhausts its founding stock and collapses on itself.

Monarchism – One man theoretically owns all the memes in the land, and commands the loyalty of those who produce them.

Theocracy – Memes are objects of worship and meme priests run the state. It could be worse.

Nihilism – Your memes are easy to start, but hard to finish.

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